The art of throwing a bottle rocket is one of the few holiday related things I believe I have mastered. You can't just light it and throw it. You have to wait. Wait until you think you may be getting the glowing shots from the fuse burning through your new coat, or jeans, or shirt (depending on the holiday, of course). Then in one moment of completely masculine glory, you throw it. A perfect arc upwards; and its gone. Exploding further over head than possible by shooting it out of a bottle, a pipe, or even the time honored chain link fence. And is soon as its exploded you know you have 143 more moments of glory to go.
At the strike of midnight, I failed. It seemed to be going perfect. I took the Black Cat from the hand of a friend in a way to almost scream "let me show you how this is done". Lit it with a cigarette. Took a few steps forward. Watched the fuse burn down and in that one previously mentioned moment of completely masculine glory, I threw it. Its arc: upward, and then back around, landing on the table just in front of me. What seemed like 5 minutes of "oh shit!" went by and the next thing I know, there it is. Exploding on my new jeans, my new coat, and my new shirt. How fitting.
Chalk up another "bad" new years. I did get to spend it with those I care about, and care about me; for the most part. And I've really started to get a kick out of everyone saying "fuck, its about time that years over… peace out 2007", as if the change of 1 second in time somehow magically changes their lives. You wake up the next day, a little sicker at best, and possibly, just possibly, with a few naive hopes.
It has been 8 years since I graduated high school. I'm still not certain when my college career will be completed. Maybe that's for the best; something about graduating to the "real world" at a time the "experts" are predictinga recession just seems like shitty luck. I've worked retail before and I'm sure my degree could at least get me a sweet overnight warehouse job. Landscaping maybe? Of course I'm not over qualified, in fact I hate manuallabor. Or waking up before noon. Warehouse it is.
I never know whether the time has gone by "so quick" or "so damn slow", but one things for sure: it sure is gone. And that's basically all there is to "celebrating" this new year's arrival. I've had the highest highs, and the lowest of lows. But that's all gone. What I choose to carry with me to the next year is my choice. Of course I'm taking all the highs. I have so many great memories of the 365 days before. So many things I never thought I'd do, things I'd never thought could happen, and words I never thought I'd hear or say.
As for the lows? Of course there are some. And I hope that when 2009 rings in, it will be knowing, they're not going any further, and that I knew I did my best to work on them, and turn them into either new highs, or distant memories.
…(not finished)
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